Tears that Won't Come

Yesterday was one of those days...one of those days when tears wouldn't come...when I felt overwhelmed by the "what if's." What if Jacob does have Cystic Fibrosis? What if the doctors missed it for all this time? What if...what if...what if...

For those of you who have been asked to pray for us. Thank you! I am sure that it is in answer to your prayers that God brought me a river of peace in the midst of the questions. The thought, as we spent the day at the hospital with our sweet little guy, was that this could become our new reality: frequent hospital visits, doctors appointments, medications (as if 7 isn't enough). Or perhaps, a correct diagnosis that will lead to a healthy child...a child who can run and jump and play....a child who can breath and sleep...

I long for God. I cry to Him. I long for Him to step in and relieve my every fear, to overcome my every weakness...to uphold me with His righteous right hand. He who has never failed will not fail now. He who has never disappointed will not disappoint me now. I cling to Him, I cry to Him and I wait...wait in confidence that whatever the outcome of the test done yesterday is, He knew it beforehand, He is not surprised and His purposes are not thwarted....

May He silence my what ifs with His holy presence. May He write His peace on my heart. He is Lord of this circumstance, of every circumstance....may I learn to live this Truth...