Monday, December 26, 2011

Finding Joy in ThanksGiving

Words are not beautiful when I write them. I don't sound as eloquent or as heartfelt as some, but I know that God has me doing this...writing it...writing that for which I am thankful. I always have, I mean, kept a thankfulness journal - but not for anyone to see. It has always been a key for know and understand the goodness of God, to see His presence in the details of my life. He is there, in every good thing that every tear that has spilled from the corners of my every giggle that has escaped my lips...He has been and always will be with me. For that I give thanks.

In those lonely, dark years, as we sought to have a child...crying out to Him, begging Him to be real to me, I learned His secret...that secret that enabled my heart to rejoice in the midst of longing...and I thanked Him.

When the news came that our first child would never be held in my aching arms, He engulfed me, drowned me in His love - through His people, His Word, my husband. His breath in my heart was like a warm balm. And I thank Him.

As I listened to the doctor tell me that my oldest was never going to be "normal," that the disease that held him captive would change all of our lives forever...He whispered His peace to my heart. And I thank Him.

When the news came that our fourth child would never breath this side of Heaven, He reached into the inky blackness to remind me He was there. He wrote the child's life. He enabled the barren woman to have a child - four children. And I thanked Him.

As the doctor stood before me, telling me that the two years of allergies for my youngest were not...he suspected something worse, God clutched me to Him, enabling me to breath, enabling me to know He was there. He steadied me, assuring me that this little precious one is perfectly known by Him. And I thank Him.

His fingerprint can be seen in the gut-wrenching heartache, as much as in the inexpressible joy....and I thank Him.

1. I thank Him for the joy of knowing another day.

2. For the cloud's promise of snow.

3. For the smell of a fresh cut Christmas tree.

4. For the laughter of the little one who holds so many hearts.

5. For the desire of the wee one to sit in my lap and snuggle.

6. For the peace of the morning before the sun peeks over the horizon.

7. For the life-giving Water that He meant for me to drink. For the truth of His
Word, washing over me, engulfing me, renewing me again.

8. For the unexpected warm embrace of my man as I am washing dishes.

9. For the pitter-patter of little feet, seeking mama in the middle of the night.

10. For the clean, fresh whiteness of the first winter's snow.

11. For the playful squirrels, nibbling the pumpkin in the the kids
squeal with delight.

12. For the laughter of a friend as we remember...remember who we once were
and celebrate who God has grown us up into.

13. For the sparkle of stars in the sky, a reminder of His promise to Abraham,
the hope of Christ and the joy of walking in His presence.

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