Wedding Vow Renewal (January 10, 2014)

Dearest Todd,
I never cease to be amazed by the man of God you are, the kind and loving heart and the tender, thoughtful spirit. I can think of no better words to express my deep love for you, commitment to you and gratitude to God for the gift of you, than by revisiting the vows I spoke not quite two years ago...during that dark time when the migraine stole my memory! Ever grateful to God for you as we celebrate our twenty-second anniversary.

"Over twenty years ago, we vowed to remain husband and wife in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until death. Today, I neither remember that day nor the speaking of those vows, but as I look back over our life together, I see your life consistently whispering the words lovingly to me. When I have been sick, you have remained steadfastly by my side. When God closed the womb, you held me close through our tears and sought out God. When God opened the closed, you held me through the joy and turned our praise to God. When jobs were lost and bills piled, you have been a constant companion, reminding me always of God’s unfailing love and provision, ever grateful to Him for His many gifts. When the times were plenty, you have held my hand and led our family in thanks and giving. When I have been poor in spirit, beaten down by the world and overwhelmed, you have pointed my eyes to Christ, reminding me of who I am in Him. When I have forgotten, you have been my memory. For this, your love, today and every day, I give thanks, humbly to my Father in Heaven.

Today, by God’s grace and according to His power, I reaffirm this covenant with you. I, leaning into His strength and trusting in His enabling, affirm to you that I am committed to be your helpmeet, to stand faithfully by your side as your wife, your friend, your encourager, through all of life’s circumstances, to demonstrate His grace and love to you, to honor and respect you through the aging and graying, the falling and the standing, the sorrows and the joys, the times of enough and the times of need, through health and through sickness, the forgetting and the remembering, through the making of mistakes and the getting it right. I speak these words today, praying that the Lord enables my life to whisper them to you every moment, as your life has whispered them to me. My life, made one with yours through the mystery and power of Christ, until that day when one of us parts to meet Christ in our heavenly home.

Today, I thank God for you, your love, for His strength and grace, carrying us through every circumstance over the years. I love you and am trusting the God who brought us together to continue to pour His abundant grace out on us, enabling me to keep this covenant with you, to serve faithfully by your side and to be your helpmeet."

Lovingly,
Shelly

Mama's Struggle

This mama is a-struggling! Not because I did not realize that my time was limited- in fact, as a mama, that is exactly what I signed up for. Yet, how was I to know...that the hours would gather too quickly in to days that would speed in to weeks that would rush in to years...and those years would lead my children in to adulthood and away from me. I am not ready. Is it okay to say that? I have done all I could to prepare my oldest for this growing up thing. I have spent so much time on my knees...pleading God's grace and mercy, His wisdom and strength to do this His way, pleading that His Spirit whispers my boy's name and draws him to Jesus, begging that I not get in the way. I have spent so much time reading and teaching and walking the Word with him - but, I must confess, not as much time as I have spent falling and failing to get it right. I have hugged and kissed away boo-boos...ones that have bled red and ones that were unseen matters of the heart. I have taken innumerable trips to the ER for those injuries that proved too much for a mama's kiss to fix, to comfort. His daddy and I have driven him to church nearly every Sunday, read the Word to him daily, prayed continually...this task of raising a son is not an easy one...but preparing to release him to the world, well, I am finding that even more difficult. As he finishes his sophomore year of high school...this mama's heart is not ready.

And so I wonder, is his? Is his heart ready to lean heavily on God? Are his mind and heart established in the Word, in hope, in faith and in love? Have his daddy and I prepared him in the most important places that matter...the heart and the mind, to trust our Jesus, our sweet Savior? Have we prepared him to face a world that is contrary to truth and that stands against his God at every turn? Have we been consistent in showing him how to walk by faith and not by sight? Has he seen a living faith..in us??

And so, today, as I congratulated the graduating nephew with a hug and a silent prayer...my heart turns to this graduation celebration, that Lord willing, will be my son's in two years. And my heart cries out, "Oh, loving Father, make him ready! Where his daddy and I have failed, pour out Your grace - reveal Yourself to this boy-man! Take the mistakes and work them out for his good and Your glory. Oh, Father, help, teach, enable this boy-man to walk by faith and not by sight...to be a Daniel in a culture that has set itself against You. May his eyes turn to Jesus to quiet the storms of his life. May his heart give praise to Jesus during times of rest. May he hunger and thirst for Your Word and be filled with nothing less than You..every moment of every day."